Wednesday, 15 November 2017 / London, UK

A Little Life Update...

Well hello blog, we meet again. 

It's been a whole month since my last blog post, so I think it's fair to say that I've totally failed at this whole consistent blogger thing I thought I had going on. Every day I've thought about putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) to explain what the hell's going on with me and why I haven't touched my blog for almost a month, but to be totally honest with you, I've never found the right time. And sorry to disappoint you, but there's not exactly a life-changing reason as to why I haven't been blogging, it's more just one big life change that has impacted my own writing more than I ever thought it would be...

I got a new job. 

A job that involves writing all day long. Well, blogging all day long to be specific. After 2 years spent in the wrong job, I (somehow) finally broke into the fashion industry and landed my dream job working for a huge fashion brand as a Digital Editor. This basically means I spend 10% of my day copywriting for their main site and the other 90% of my day is spent producing and writing content for their blog. And I bloody love it. Sometimes I sit there and have a panic that people can see my screen and think I'm going to get in trouble for having Pinterest and Vogue tabs open and then I remember that this is my job. I'm getting paid to write about fashion trends, events, shoes and celebrities and I almost have to pinch myself every time that realisation hits me. For 2 whole years I rushed home from work everyday to fire up my laptop and open up blogger, where I'd spend the rest of my night editing photos and writing until stupid hours of the morning. I was so consumed with my writing and my brain was constantly ticking with new content ideas, making it extremely difficult to sleep. I could be in the shower and would have to quickly hop out and word vomit my ideas onto my iPhone notes before I forgot them, or I could be tucked up in bed about to fall asleep, when I'd suddenly have an overwhelming desire to switch my laptop back on and start a new blog post. I was consumed by writing. I got a thrill and a surge of adrenalin every time I hit 'publish' on a new blog post and I became obsessed with tracking the success of my work on Google Analytics.

And the thing is, I still do all these things...just not for my own blog. The writing/blogging (whatever you want to call it) line between my professional and personal life has been majorly blurred and to be totally honest with you, I'm really struggling to seperate the two. Don't get me wrong, I'm still as obsessed as ever with writing and I hand on heart adore every second of it now that I'm doing it full time, but the downside of that means that I have very little to no time to write for myself anymore. I spend all day staring at a screen and writing. I spend all day editing pictures and SEO optimising pages and I spend all day trend forecasting and content planning, so when I finish my day at work and get home, the last thing I want to do is stare at a screen again and write, edit, SEO optimise, trend forecast and plan content. Now this doesn't mean that I don't enjoy it, please don't get me wrong. It's just that the creative side of my personality that spent so long bursting to write and produce imagery full time has now been satisfied, so I'm struggling to motivate myself to channel that side of me in my personal life too, now that it's being fulfilled in my professional life, 8 1/2 hours a day, 5 days a week.

I guess what I'm trying to say is...when your hobby is your full time job, where does that leave your hobby?

I've never wanted to be a full time successful fashion blogger. I admire those that do and I admire their drive, their ambition and their hardcore motivation, but I never started my blog intending it to be anything. I started my blog because I wanted to write and my blog allowed me to do so. It gave me a platform to word vomit my daily thoughts and life ramblings about online dating, finding your feet in your 20's and fashion trends and it gave me a visual platform to share my love for travel and photography with you all. Hell I don't even know if anybody reads my blog anymore, or if they enjoy the content I produce, or even if they've noticed that I haven't published anything for almost a month, but I've noticed and it's been bugging me every single day that I haven't been producing any content for my blog. And the more I've noticed it, the more I've tried to ignore it and the more I've ignored it, the more frustrated I've become with myself and I've consequently got myself stuck into even more of a rut. There's not a day that goes by where I don't read the blogs of others, or I don't think about my blog, but I've just been struggling with where my place is on the internet and what exactly it is I want to write about anymore. When I spend all day writing about fashion and trends, I don't want to repeat that same similar content on my own blog, so I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I need to figure out what it is exactly that I want to focus more of on my blog. Whether that's travel or whether that's advice or whether that's dating, I'm not entirely sure yet. I just needed a little break to step away from my laptop and pick up a book again and take a step back from my blog and settle into my new job, because after all, it was a big life change and I need to accept that and stop beating myself up about the fact that I've neglected my blog.

My blog will always be here for when I want to ramble and share my life away and I need to remember that. And you never know, hopefully some of my followers might always be here too, so when things have calmed down at work and I've figured out how the hell to distinguish my professional blogger head and my personal blogger head, I will get my 'Sabrina Does Life' mojo back. I will. 
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