Saturday 7 January 2017 / London, UK

My (First Ever) New Year's Resolutions

I'm not usually one to set myself New Years resolutions aside from all the usual cliche bollocks of "I'm gonna drag my ass to the gym everyday after work" (never happens) and "I'm not going to drink in January, my body is a temple" (also never happens, as you can't Wine Wednesday without the wine now can you?). But it was New Years Eve and I received a message from a friend asking me what my New Year resolutions were and it actually made me stop and realise that I do actually want to set myself some New Years Resolutions this year. I never felt the need nor desire to before as I was a student, so all I was concerned about was getting to my graduation day without doing a Britney and shaving all my hair off and attacking my lecturer with an umbrella, but now I'm 23 (how, what, why?!) and on that what the hell am I doing with my life path, I can't continue to plod along like I have been doing for the last 23 years of my life. I will be 24 this July and I am not in the slightest bit happy with the idea of plodding along for another year. So it's time to do more of what I love this year and to stop worrying about what everybody else is doing and focus on what I want to be doing this year. So here we go..


Considering I have a BA Hons in English Literature, it's actually pretty shameful that I'm having to set myself this resolution. Ever since I learnt to read at the age of 5, I fell in love with reading and spent half of my childhood with my face buried in a book. There was no Sky TV back then (well not in my household at least), mobile phones weren't a thing and iPad's and the other countless technological distractions that exist nowadays were certainly not a thing either. If you were bored, you watched TV or you read a book. Simple. Hence why my love of reading took up such a big part of my time. But then life happens. Exams happen, University happens, iPhone's happen and just like that, there's 493274523402 other distractions in my life to occupy my time with in place of reading. Due to having to read 2 books on average a week for my University course, 'reading for fun' soon became a thing of the past and reading soon became both a chore and an obligation, rather than a desire. I endured 4 years of reading hundreds of dull, highly intellectual books which struck no relevance to my life, written by unknown authors so after the day of my graduation I quite frankly never wanted to pick up a book again. (well not for a very long time at least). 

But almost 2 years on from my graduation I am finally beginning to fall back in love with reading again and I am determined to discover my inner bookworm again. Reading is a beautiful thing once you get into the zone. It offers us a fictional escape from reality and occupies our minds completely, leaving us to forget about whatever things are weighing on our mind. It's the ultimate form of relaxation and no amount of Twitter/Instagram scrolling on your iPhone will compare. So my resolution is to put down my iPhone, stop wasting hour upon hour refreshing and scrolling my feeds and to pick up a book instead. I will read on my commute both there and back (and leave my iPhone firmly in my pocket). I will leave my phone on the other side of my bedroom at night and instead of scrolling my way to sleep, I will read for 30 mins a night just like I used to, until I fall asleep.


After studying Photography for my A levels, I absolutely fell in love with both film and digital photography. I would never leave the house without my camera and would never dream of going to another city or country without bringing my camera along with me. But fast forward a few years and I soon succumbed to laziness and resorted to snapping away on my iPhone instead. This is one of my biggest regrets as as I look back now at holiday pictures from countries I'd never visited before and all I have is a bunch of blurry, poor quality pictures which aren't even worthy of being printed out. As much as I love the convenience of the iPhone camera for my beloved Instagram, it is by no means worthy (or capable) of replacing an actual camera. Yes, it may require more effort to take a camera around and away with me, but photos are irreplaceable and Photography is a beautiful thing. I miss just wandering the streets of London and foreign cities and snapping away on my DSLR at random doors, street art, fascinating buildings, sculptures, people, landscapes, or simply anything that caught my eye. I am going to make a conscious effort to carry my DSLR around with me, so that I will always have my camera with me whenever a good photo opportunity arises, because there is nothing worse than stumbling upon something and wishing you had your camera with you to capture the moment. Even if nothing is done with my images and I don't publish or print them, I just want to capture more of life, so starting from today I will take more pictures. 


I think we're all a little bit guilty of this one. It's so easy to get caught up in the trivialities of life and to just become a little bit self-absorbed in our day-to-day lives. That 13 minute train delay en route to work and that out of service escalator and broken ATM may seem like the end of the world at the time, but in actual fact, there's a hell of a lot worse things that could happen to you in a day. Every day we wake up happy and healthy is a blessing and one that we should never take for granted, especially considering the atrocities that are currently going on around the world.
I often find myself moaning. Moaning about how tired I am and how I detest my 6am alarm. Note to self: that 6am alarm actually makes me a lucky one, as it means I am lucky enough to have a job...something which a lot of people are currently struggling to get. And when that 'hideous' 6am alarm rips me out of my sleep. It rips me out of my sleep that I've had in my warm, comfortable bed, in my heated, lit and safe bedroom. That already makes me one of the lucky ones in the world. So many are homeless or living in unsafe, unclean, inhumane conditions and I need to remind myself of this.

My life is not bad. My life is a privileged, healthy and happy one and I need to learn to be more positive about it. So what if the train's delayed and so what if the ATM is out of service. As my Mum has always told me, "every problem has a solution" and that is something that has always stuck with me. Rather than complaining and thinking the worst of every situation, I need to remember that every problem does in fact have a solution and that it really is not the end of the world.
So in 2017, I really am going to make a conscious effort to try and think more positively and to stop complaining about minor issues. 


All my life I have worried about what people think of me. Despite always feeling really passionately about fashion and personal style, I struggle with a lack of confidence and even just as little as 9 months ago, I would put together an amazing outfit, try it on and then take it straight off again to put it back in the wardrobe and opt for a basic 'blend-in' jeans and t shirt combo instead, as I just didn't have the confidence to leave the house wearing it. I was obsessed with what people thought of me and was convinced that if I wore the outfit, I'd get stares and comments. On numerous occasions when I have been purchasing quite out-there items (I'm talking fluffy bags and silver shoes), I have gone all the way to the check-out stage, only to chicken out as I'm too worried about what people will think of me when I'm wearing it. To have a love for fashion and personal style, but for that love to be accompanied by a contradicting lack of confidence and fear of judgement from others prevents me from enjoying fashion to it's fullest potential. After all, fashion is meant to be all about having fun and feeling confident in what you're wearing. And don't get me wrong, I almost always wear whatever I want, regardless of whether it's out-there or not and regardless of whether I know I'm gonna get looks from colleagues or people on the crowded tube and compared to what I used to be like a few years ago, my confidence has grown massively, but I'm still not quite there yet compared to where I'd like to be confidence-wise. 

I am confident in my personal style. I know what I like and I know what I don't like. I don't like blend-in clothes. I have no desire to wear blend-in clothes. I like chunky shoes, faux fur, a lotta black, platforms and striped culottes. So, for me, one of my most important New Year's Resolutions, is to wear whatever the hell I want and to not give a shit about what other people think of my outfit. If Sheila on the bus doesn't think much to my striped trousers, or if Dave the builder takes the piss out of my faux fur clutch and calls it a pet, then screw them both. They don't have to wear it. If I could wake up every day in 2017 and put on whatever outfit I want to wear and leave the house without hesitating to worry if people will stare, then I will be be one happy lady.  


I first started this blog about a year ago. I wanted a platform to share my love for both fashion and photography and a space where I could clear my head and write about whatever topics were on my mind. I spent the first 9 months of it feeling a little lost and overwhelmed with it all to be totally honest. I struggled with google analytics and the techy side of things, I felt disheartened by little page views and readings and felt like I was wasting my time, spending hours and hours writing posts and editing images from my trips to share with an audience I wasn't even sure I had. It felt like every other writer/blogger out there had followers and readers who would interact with and react to their posts and I just didn't know how the hell to get anyone to read my blog. Part of the reason why I felt so disheartened before was out of frustration. I was comparing myself and my blog to full-time bloggers who have both an extremely well-established blog and brand and every time I wrote a post, I was so close to binning it before publishing. I told myself there was no point in continuing to write, as nobody was interested. Nobody knew my blog nor me and I felt I was wasting what little spare time I had. I made excuse after excuse as to why I hadn't posted for weeks and now I know that the only thing stopping me was me. Granted, I work a long working day. I leave my house at 7am and don't return home until 7pm and that's if I don't go to the gym. By the time I've cooked, washed up, showered, washed hair etc. it is basically 10pm, leaving me very little time to write.

However, success doesn't come without sacrifice, so I have pulled myself together, have stopped making excuses and am determined to keep this blog up in 2017. Although I am still yet to fully grasp all aspects of running a blog, my viewings on my posts have shot up, I am receiving really good feedback from friends and colleagues who read my blog and I finally feel like I am finding my feet on this platform. Before, I would struggle to come up with post ideas, whereas now my brain is constantly on overdrive producing idea after idea for potential blog posts. So my aim in 2017 is to post twice a week and most believe in myself. 

So there we go, those are my 2017 Resolutions. Nothing drastic & nothing unattainable. What are your New Year's Resolutions? I'd love to know!


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